It sums up my experience & my continuing heart for the country. The Lord left a lasting impact of Australia on my heart and now I'm getting the amazing opportunity to return! Now some of you may be asking, how did this all happen? My general answer is that it was all in the Lord's will! It was unexpected, a crazy leap of faith for me & ultimately revealed God's plan.
It starts of during Christmas break when I got an unforeseen phonecall from a staff member, Kathryn. She starts off by asking how my break is going then jumps right into the real question. She said that Cru (the Christian organization I'm involved in at UCLA) was looking for an Operations Project Director for the upcoming Australia Summer Project. I was so shocked that I didn't even realize that she was asking me to do it until she continued to say that staff had prayed about it & wanted me to be the first student that they ask. Now, let me remind you that this is during Christmas Break, aka I am NOT thinking about my summer at all! I mean I had some plans about going to Boston to earn money at a summer camp with my brother's church, but I had not seriously thought about my summer yet or made definite plans. (God's timing)
After the phone call, I prayed. I prayed for days. I prayed for clarity from God to show me what he wants me to do. At first, I was completely excited about the opportunity to return to Australia! I felt like God has kept it on my heart for a reason, but I wasn't sure why. But then, the emotions started to flood my mind. (Sorry, I'm a girl. I have to talk about emotions.) I instantly felt afraid, inadequate and lost. I felt afraid because now I was going from summer plans filled with earning money to summer plans that require me to go through the long and scary process of raising $5,000! I felt inadequate because this leadership job is in charge of all the finances and major details, (and I mean a lot here) from booking plane flights, to getting passports, to making sure all the students raise their money while at the same time I'm raising my own! I felt lost because there was absolutely no clarity in this situation. Both decisions sounded good to me, sounded like I'd be glorifying the Lord. However, Australia stuck in my mind. It was the one that was less comfortable and more of a leap of faith. (Now, I'm not saying that Australia is more spiritual than going to Boston, or that you always HAVE to pick the more uncomfortable option, but for me, I felt like God was nudging me towards Australia.)
So I did it! I accepted the position after days of praying, crying and praying again. (Remember, I'm a girl = emotions.) But now I am filled with this ambition to do this job! To lead these students and help them lean on the Lord for their financial worries. I still have many many many moments of inadequacies. There are so many forms, legal issues, contracts and excell documents that I have to learn - but it's a constant reminder that I definitely cannot do this on the Lord. It forces me to cling unto God for everything and I am incredibly thankful for the helpers he has given me in this life! (aka staff members in UCLA Cru)
So there it is! My mini-version of my story of how/why I'm going back! The Lord has given me a passion to return to Australia, to break that apathy and share the Gospel in a very spiritually dark nation. I'm still nervous about support raising, but prayer and through my work, I know He will get me through! God is SO GOOD! :)
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